There are some addictive mobile games out there — as I recently elucidated in my Lifeline review. But some are embarrassingly addictive. You’re hesitant to admit that these annoyingly cute, outrageously obnoxious or exceptionally mindless games consume your time and thumb-power. You don’t want friends, family or even strangers seeing you indulge in these guilty pleasures. Here is Game Blog Girl’s list of five of the most horribly addictive and terrifyingly embarrassing games!
5. Piano Tiles 2
This game is enormously addictive. You’ll be tapping away at musical tiles, watching commercials for diamonds and cursing Beethoven for his too-beautiful-to-replicate sonatas. But, what do you get when you become a virtuoso Piano Tiles player? Nothing. Except regret that you didn’t put in the same amount of effort into a real instrument. Sadly, it’s one of the only games that’s embarrassing level grows with your proficiency.
4. Pocket Mortys
This game is fun. And hilarious. But it’s on the crass side, or — well, exceedingly deranged may be a more accurate way of describing it. The writing is funny, the gameplay is a solid Pokemon clone… But recruiting copies of yourself from vast reaches of the Multiverse to fight other doppelgangers — I’m getting embarrassed just explaining it!
3. Candy Crush
This game is huge. GIANT, in fact. I mean, everyone loves Candy Crush! So why is the much-loved (and candy-coated) game on this humiliating list? Well, because embarrassing is embarrassing, people. Some may argue that Candy Crush is more addictive than embarrassing, but I assert that the opposite is true. Unless you’re five-year-old girl with a love for all things sweet and candy-colored. But I’m guessing that makes up only a fraction of Candy Crush’s players.
2. Happy Wheels
Dark, weird and unapologetically gory. This is the exact game you do not want to be caught playing by your boss. Or your young child. BECAUSE YOU COULD TRAUMATIZE THEM.
Too bad you can’t whip out Happy Wheels in public. It’s possible you could be prosecuted for being too creepy. Why does creepy have to be so much fun sometimes?!
1. Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector
It’s addictive. It’s cute. It’s cat-infested. What the problem? Allow me to repeat: It’s addictive. It’s cute. It’s cat-infested.
That’s the problem.
It’s too cute. It’s too Japanese. It’s too… cat-centric. It’s a Weird Old Cat Lady simulation. And it’s surprisingly fun. But don’t tell your friends that. Tell them you play it ironically. That’s what I do. But I don’t think I’m fooling anyone. Oh, well. Might as well just accept the embarrassment and play all of these addictive games freely!
Thanks for checking out my top five list of embarrassing but all-too-addictive iPhone games! Tell me what game you’re mobile gaming guilty pleasures in the comments below!